Skip to main content

FOCUS!

The teacher that taught my driver’s education course my sophomore year of high school was an odd duck, may he rest in peace. He kept us busy. You probably won’t believe this, but during his class a student could expect to have a film being shown on a screen on one wall, an overhead projector (there I go again, dating myself) casting to a second wall, and him at a third wall writing on the blackboard (not whiteboard, this was the 80s) while lecturing. I’m surprised he didn’t have all four walls going, but, hey, the door and windows have to go somewhere. It’s a good thing learning how to drive is a hands-on experience, because only someone on a significant amount of caffeine could take in everything that was going on in that classroom setting.

Talking about that experience would probably give many of my classmates anxiety. When your brain is doing too many things at once, it can just shut down. Perhaps that isn’t really what goes on physically, but can’t you identify with that emotionally and mentally? I sure can. If you were to be grocery shopping with a set of four-year-old quadruplets that were each asking you to buy them five different things and needing ALL your attention RIGHT NOW, would you not pack up and go home? Or you might cave and spend money for each of them to have one toy so they could be distracted for 2.9 minutes while you get a gallon of milk and a loaf of bread and get out of there.

If it were me, I would never bring them to the store again until they could pay for their own stuff, say, at age 27. The next time I went grocery shopping, I might be tempted to do it in the middle of the night when they were safely tucked in bed and sound asleep so I could CONCENTRATE only on what I need and stick to my BUDGET. You with me?

This, my friends, is an example of what experts call MINDFULNESS. No, it’s not meditation, although meditation IS considered a form of mindfulness and is actually a GREAT practice for physical and mental wellbeing, but I’ll leave that for my sister who does the health blog. According to Kingsford, mindfulness is often described as “being fully aware of what is happening in the present moment without judgment” (see chapter 4, page 61 of her book “Brain Powered Weight Loss”). You certainly should not beat yourself up for bringing your preschool quad squad to the store, and you can probably cut yourself a break for caving and buying them each a toy, but let’s not let it happen again, shall we?

When you need to spend money, try Kingsford’s suggestions…limit the distractions around you (leave the kids with grandma or a friend), bring your attention to what you’re doing (silence your phone for an hour), pay attention to what you think and how you feel (see last week’s post “Remove the Specs”), be aware of your own bad spending habits (like adding stuff to your cart that is not on the list), and engaging in positive self-talk (“I am CHOOSING not to buy ice cream” which, by the way, is a win-win for the budget and the waistline).

Now take a deep cleansing breath.  

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Gifts that Matter

When I think about my childhood, there are a few events (some good, some not so good) that really stand out. These specific incidents made big impacts on me, so they really stuck. I bet you can say the same thing. These encounters, good and bad, help shape who we are. As parents, it is our job to teach our children to be honest, upstanding, contributing members of society. This does not happen by accident. Part of this process involves the experiences we give our children–we can orchestrate PEAK moments for our families that will leave lasting impressions on young, impressionable minds. What is a PEAK moment? According to de Jager Meezenbroek, Garssen, van den Berg, van Dierendonck, Visser, and Schaufeli in the Journal of Religion and Health , “Peak experiences are often described as transcendent moments of pure joy and elation. These are moments that stand out from everyday events.” Christmas offers an EXCELLENT opportunity to offer experiences that can become “PEAK moments” in ...

Remove the Specs

You have probably heard the phrase, “looking through rose-colored glasses”? If not, allow me to introduce you to this idiom. It basically means seeing things the way you want to see them while putting a positive spin on that. It’s not a bad thing, but sometimes you need to see something for what it really is. How many of us have ever spent impetuously because we were upset or angry? “Gee, my spouse spent $500 on a (insert whatever he might buy to feed his hobby here) without asking, I should be able to spend the same on (insert what you would like to get here)!” I’m sorry/not sorry, but this is NOT a healthy way to look at things. It’s just wrong. And it’s a great example of erroneous thinking when it comes to managing money. According to Kingsford, “Thoughts create the emotions that drive us...” Oh, how true it is! She also points out how events lead to thoughts, which in turn lead to feelings. For purposes of today’s post, I’m going to call this “The Cycle.” If you want to be f...

Choose Good

Someone I know recently made a trip to the grocery store. Another shopper thought she was buying too much bread for her family of nine and assaulted her. My friend is shaken but okay. The assailant was escorted from the premises. Unfortunately, emergencies bring out the worst is some. Whenever there is some sort of trauma going on in the world (and when is there NOT these days?) all kinds of crazies are going to come out of the woodwork. Don’t fall prey to one of them. You’re probably going to get phone calls from people claiming to be from different charities that are raising money for this and that. I used to try to tell them “No” politely. Now I just hang up. Or, better yet, don’t answer numbers you do not recognize, even those with the same area code you have. If you can and want to contribute to a charity, use one you have used before. While disasters bring out the scary, they also can bring out the best of us.   Be one of them. We are all spending more time a...