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Step Two: Understand Your History

 I have said this before–things we experience as children can stay with us into adulthood and affect how we think. We may not even realize it. I have a short story to illustrate my point.

A friend once shared with me a discussion she and her husband had when they were first married and had little money. During a budgeting and billpaying episode, my friend’s husband turned to my friend and said, “Well, we’re broke.” This caused my friend to break down in tears and have a panic attack. Her husband wasn’t sure what was going on until they shared the history that phrase held for each of them. To him, being “broke” meant there was no money for extras. To her, being “broke” meant going without food.

If your parents were always worried about money while you were growing up, you might have an attitude of scarcity. If your parents were in a financial situation where you were handed money for whatever you needed whenever you needed it, you might not have a true understanding of where money comes from and spend recklessly. Neither is healthy.

So, ask yourself a few questions: What kind of financial situation are my parents in now? Did my parents fight about money when I was a kid? Did they agree on how to spend it?  Were they on the same page regarding working, spending, saving, and charitable giving? My parents are divorced–did money cause the break-up? Do I have an attitude similar to what theirs is?

I’ve also said things before similar to this: knowing where you are is half the battle. Recognizing what feelings have been ingrained in you is a necessary step to recreating your updated, healthy financial attitude now. A poor family financial history does not mean you are destined to be broke. I am living proof.

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