Skip to main content

Remove the Specs

You have probably heard the phrase, “looking through rose-colored glasses”? If not, allow me to introduce you to this idiom. It basically means seeing things the way you want to see them while putting a positive spin on that. It’s not a bad thing, but sometimes you need to see something for what it really is.

How many of us have ever spent impetuously because we were upset or angry? “Gee, my spouse spent $500 on a (insert whatever he might buy to feed his hobby here) without asking, I should be able to spend the same on (insert what you would like to get here)!” I’m sorry/not sorry, but this is NOT a healthy way to look at things. It’s just wrong. And it’s a great example of erroneous thinking when it comes to managing money.

According to Kingsford, “Thoughts create the emotions that drive us...” Oh, how true it is! She also points out how events lead to thoughts, which in turn lead to feelings. For purposes of today’s post, I’m going to call this “The Cycle.”

If you want to be financially fit and independent, you cannot justify impulsively spending for ANY reason. It’s time to grow up and look at things as they really are. You need to learn to anticipate things that might trigger your desire to charge a “want” and worry about paying for it later. Learn to recognize what leads you to pull out the credit card or open an Amazon window. How? Practice recognizing where you are in “The Cycle.” WRITE IT DOWN–Keep a short journal of the events in your life, the emotions that come with them, and the actions you take afterward. Then, divorce your emotions from your actions. Find something to replace shopping (but not mindless eating–how about taking a walk, even up and down your stairs, or calling a friend?). With practice you will be able to see yourself and halt the process.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

One More–Christmas Experiences Part II

Christmas is just a week away. Hopefully you’ve checked everything off your to-do list and can spend some quality time “experiencing” Christmas gifts with your family. Because, after all, your loved ones will be far more touched by how you made them feel than they will be with what you gave them. This week, I want to share with you my sister, Carey’s, family Christmas experience. “One Christmas, when my boys, now 18, 23 and 28, were little, we gave them an experience that is still talked about now. And it’s something so easily replicated that any family can do it, and it’s not too late to do it for Christmas (even ON Christmas) this year. We drove around our neighborhood and looked at all the homes decorated for the holiday. We took note of the addresses as we numbered them. We talked about what made each ornamented yards stand out. And at the end of the night, we voted for our favorite. I had my sons help me make some of our favorite holiday desserts and, in addition to taking p...

More Financial Help

As part of the Discovery Family Coalition, we work with many agencies whose purposes are to help families in a myriad of areas. One of those areas is finances (that I get to chat with you about every week–yay!). And right now, families need all the financial help they can get, mine included. One of our fellow coalition partners, the Utah Department of Health & Human Services Child & Family Services, also does what it can to get help, including financial help, to families who need it. I happen to be on an email list, and this week I got an email with this information: “The Connect toCollect(C2C) program is focused on increasing low-income Utahans' receipt of the Earned Income Tax Credit (EITC) by educating individuals about this federal program and linking them to high quality, free tax preparation." What is the Earned Income Tax Credit (EITC)? It's a tax credit that  helps low- to moderate-income workers and families get a tax break. If you qualify, you can us...

The Marshmallow Experiment

In 1972, Stanford did a study about delayed gratification with children. It involved giant marshmallows and testing their patience.  You can see a short YouTube video about the study here . Basically, the kids who could sit alone with a giant marshmallow without eating it for a certain length of time were rewarded with a second giant marshmallow. Fun, huh? Some kids could be patient and reap the rewards; some could not. I was a small child when the study was conducted, and I wonder which side I might have been on. I HAVE learned to be pretty patient as an adult. One of the areas in which I’ve seen improvement is in finances. I have become a good money manager–I could be paid once annually and budget so that I won’t run out before year’s end, including having enough money to pay my own quarterly taxes–self-employed people do that. Speaking of taxes, I try not to overpay so that I qualify for a “refund,” because the government does not practice The Marshmallow Experiment. Huh? ...