Skip to main content

Remove the Specs

You have probably heard the phrase, “looking through rose-colored glasses”? If not, allow me to introduce you to this idiom. It basically means seeing things the way you want to see them while putting a positive spin on that. It’s not a bad thing, but sometimes you need to see something for what it really is.

How many of us have ever spent impetuously because we were upset or angry? “Gee, my spouse spent $500 on a (insert whatever he might buy to feed his hobby here) without asking, I should be able to spend the same on (insert what you would like to get here)!” I’m sorry/not sorry, but this is NOT a healthy way to look at things. It’s just wrong. And it’s a great example of erroneous thinking when it comes to managing money.

According to Kingsford, “Thoughts create the emotions that drive us...” Oh, how true it is! She also points out how events lead to thoughts, which in turn lead to feelings. For purposes of today’s post, I’m going to call this “The Cycle.”

If you want to be financially fit and independent, you cannot justify impulsively spending for ANY reason. It’s time to grow up and look at things as they really are. You need to learn to anticipate things that might trigger your desire to charge a “want” and worry about paying for it later. Learn to recognize what leads you to pull out the credit card or open an Amazon window. How? Practice recognizing where you are in “The Cycle.” WRITE IT DOWN–Keep a short journal of the events in your life, the emotions that come with them, and the actions you take afterward. Then, divorce your emotions from your actions. Find something to replace shopping (but not mindless eating–how about taking a walk, even up and down your stairs, or calling a friend?). With practice you will be able to see yourself and halt the process.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

One More–Christmas Experiences Part II

Christmas is just a week away. Hopefully you’ve checked everything off your to-do list and can spend some quality time “experiencing” Christmas gifts with your family. Because, after all, your loved ones will be far more touched by how you made them feel than they will be with what you gave them. This week, I want to share with you my sister, Carey’s, family Christmas experience. “One Christmas, when my boys, now 18, 23 and 28, were little, we gave them an experience that is still talked about now. And it’s something so easily replicated that any family can do it, and it’s not too late to do it for Christmas (even ON Christmas) this year. We drove around our neighborhood and looked at all the homes decorated for the holiday. We took note of the addresses as we numbered them. We talked about what made each ornamented yards stand out. And at the end of the night, we voted for our favorite. I had my sons help me make some of our favorite holiday desserts and, in addition to taking p...

Timing is Everything

I was told that a good time to buy a car is January or February. Why? I would guess it’s because many people are financially destitute right after Christmas (because they have not yet been introduced to my blog!) so car sales are down. I do think there is another reason. I think that most people have yet to file their taxes and receive their tax returns (a.k.a. overpayment that they loaned interest-free to the government ) with which they plan to make a down payment. Now it’s March, and many people have already filed their taxes and received said overpayment that we common-folk refer to as a return, and it’s burning a hole in their pockets. This can be good news for you if you have things you want to sell. Now is the time to capitalize on the extra influx of cash. What do you have around your house that you no longer use that you can sell? Speaking as someone who has done this very thing, I must warn you. Selling stuff you don’t need anymore and collecting the cash can be addicting...

The One Nobody Wants to Talk About

A young, twenty-something wife and mother of three in my neighborhood lost her husband unexpectedly a few years ago. He died with no life insurance. It left the family financially devastated . She had to sell her house and move into her parent’s basement. A Go Fund Me account paid for her husband’s funeral. I have another friend who lost her husband to a horrible illness when they were in their early forties. This couple had planned ahead and made sure they had the right amounts of the right kinds of insurance in place, including life insurance on the major breadwinner of the family–my friend’s husband. A year or so after he passed, I asked her how she was doing financially. She said her husband had taken care of her financially in death just as well as he had in life. Life insurance is crucial for a specific portion of your life. Do not overlook this. There is more to losing a family member than the overwhelming grief of the loss itself. No one needs financial hardship heape...